In the beginning…

I was having a very difficult time trying to figure out my first post and then again my first blog on here. I guess because my story has so many chapters. But then again, don’t we all. My story isn’t an easy one to tell. There is a lot of adventure, drama, exciting events, trauma, sadness, joys and survival. But in all of this it’s shaped and molded me, and well, made me who I am. So this will unravel a little at a time. A little past, a little present and a little in to the future. So lets begin shall we?

My mama was born in Colorado. But her family ended up in Minneapolis, MN area. Her Daddy, as I called him Bumpa, was a PE and English teacher. But then as soon as school got out on Memorial day they were running the Family Resort all summer near Ely, MN. My mom’s mama was very organized. She had each day for different things. But Bumpa always waited until she sat down after making any meal and took the first bite. Even their 4 children and all grandchildren all followed that respect. So my mom grew up a city/wilderness girl. She was the 2nd of for kids. She was sick a lot and much later in life found out why. But Bumpa was always there. He was a tough barrow tone voiced man but he was a softie in his heart. My mom would hold my head and hair when I was so sick telling me it was Bumpa that did that for her.

My daddy was born in a small town in SW Wisconsin. He was the 3rd kid in a family of 5 kids. His Grandparents were living on the same farm his dad and mom were running. My dad walked to a little farm house school. He was a wild child and my grandma used to tell us so many stories of how he was such a challenge. But he turned out to be a great guy. Grandpa was so patient and kind. He had a way with young people too. He died the day I turned 9 years old. There were lots of farm stories and Grandma did a lot. She also spoiled us when she visited making us homemade noodles, donuts, and all kinds of good food. The stories were endless. But she also was the best sport when it came to all the pranks I thought up and my brother and I played on her. Its so funny how I would never have dared to do such a think to my other grandma. I guess if she could handle my dad then we thought it was ok?

My mom and dad met. It was funny hearing their story… I will share sometime. But my mom always wanted kids of her own. She wanted me to wear lace a be all girly. But I was born and not much of a cuddly baby. I guess I was always looking around like what am I missing out on. So imagine the disappointment she felt when I would never sit still and how much I hated lace. To be fair… lacy undies and lace on clothing itched. I could not help but to wiggle. Over time and right up to when I lost my dear mum… She loved me and let me know it. She was my biggest fan. She saw a lot of what we struggled with. She fought for me when up against bullys. My daddy too. He had my back when life got rocky or bad.

Over time I will share what “Wild & Free” is to me. It is NOT acting crazy and out of control. That is not using your head. It has nothing to do with being married or single. It’s more about being creative and having the freedom to create your ideas and the wild part of it is having the courage to strike out and make it happen. The ability to courageously take reasonable risks to have an idea and make a safe version happen. I was a different sort of wild before I had kids. I was sometimes a reckless wild. Sort of out of control wild at times. After I had my kids I realized I am responsible for that gift and had to take care of them. Mostly alone. I needed to use more wisdom and reliance on God. I needed to adult up to allow my own kids to grow up. I took the fun route though. I worked hard to make fun. We did it mostly safely but with an adventure spirit. We tried to make fun happen. We had limited budget, limited sleep, limited energy and resources but for the most part we did some pretty fun things.

Here is where I plan to share what I do. I draw, paint, wood burn, design things to build and then build them I have a vision in my head, draw out on graph paper the old fashioned way and then get busy. I will share the past projects as well as new ones and the current one I am working on.

I have had many traumatizing or tragic things happen. They are part of me now and I deal with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I will share over time how it’s affected me and how I am doing working through these experiences. What helps the most is my trust in God. My close relationship with him. How I have so much faith in him. But also my upbringing and my inner country wilderness that keeps me positive, going and looking for more reasons why I love life every day. Inside I am happy and positive. I look for lessons to learn from my experiences and those of others. Look to the things beautiful happy and fully of life. Just keep paddling, swimming, or grinning. Whatever your mantra is… just stand in that mirror look yourself in the eyes and say “You’ve got this!” ~ Country Wilderness Girl